Hurray for open-minded employers

Rome was not built in a day but there is change coming...

It’s a challenge for many of us TV mums and dads the world of trying to work out a work-life balance in an industry where if you say “no” there will be someone else saying “yes” (and not always as qualified and for less money) standing right behind you.  In an industry where your last "credit" defines you, it's going to be difficult to open minds up to the fact that 1, 2 or longer years out of 'broadcast' does not mean you were not good enough to get another gig.  It just means you grew up and took time out for either a family or maybe just a bit of a life.  After all, living on location 7/8 months of the year wears thin even for this globe-trotting Aussie.

With companies and government agencies offering dozens of internships to broadcast and media newbies there are very few forward thinking employers reaping the rewards from hiring highly-skilled and experienced production people for the same cost as someone with less experience.   

But things are changing. 

My friend is a very experienced Producer/Director with a lovely little 2 year girl old. She now lives in Australia.
 

She wrote in November:   
I'm loving your blog posts. Nice of you to share the journey. I'm still stressing out about the whole issue of work... I don't want to be away from my daughter full-time (she's 2 next month) but I'm SO pessimistic about getting hired with only part-time availability. From mid-Jan my daughter will be in daycare 8am-4pm Tue-Wed-Thu so I'm hoping I can find SOMETHING!!" 
  
She wrote in January:  
"I actually have a lot to thank you for! ... inspired by your blog, I applied for a job pitching myself as ‘available part-time only, but great value for money!’ and I got it!

It's a short term role 3 days a week, on the days my daughter goes to daycare.  The role is Assistant Producer  it's a 'demotion' in terms of seniority to be an AP again, but I figure that's the cost of getting a part time gig.  They hadn't advertised it as part-time, but they liked my CV and my pitch and so called me in for a meeting.

Hurray for open-minded employers. 

I'm a bit scared of the whole juggling work and motherhood thing... but some people seem to manage it in this industry, so why not me?"

HURRAY! Thanks for sharing. You’re the inspiring one and good luck.

New Year New You

Actions speak louder than words.

OK I'm the person who NEVER makes New Year’s resolutions because I know I am not going to keep them. I'm honest enough to know I'm weak and don't really care about most trivial things.

And these days it looks like if you want to change something you put yourself on national TV for all to see.  While channel flicking I stopped on Supersize vs Superskinny. It’s not my normal viewing but I was stunned to see the large guy give such great advice to the super skinny woman.

A drink for everyone

 It was 'don't do it for your children, do it for yourself.'  What great advice.  How many of these reality shows do we have to watch where women have lost themselves and live for their kids.  Now there is nothing wrong with having your kids best interests at heart, however if you lose the person you are because you live for you kids what kind of role model are you being?  You’re saying when you have kids your life is over.  It's not. It's just an extension to who you are becoming NOT who you are.

SO let’s get back to CHANGE.

If I wanted to change something I would just go ahead and do it, there is no need for me to wait for a time of year to make a change.  I have lost too many years just plodding along now it's time to live life to the fullest. You just never know what tomorrow holds.

When I decided I wanted to go back to work I wanted to be healthy and fit.  I was sick of feeling lethargic and rundown so I decided to give myself a super healthy kick.  I joined a boot camp exercise group and did a juice detox.  For me, I needed to clean up the inside and outside.

 Boot Camp fitness is outdoor and it’s total madness, full on and not for the faint hearted.  I have fallen in love with it (love-hate really).  It will make you fit, change your shape, it clears out the cobwebs and you will not be able to walk the next day for the first few times.  For me it has better results than half-arsing my way around a gym.

Day 1 Juice Detox

Now Detox. If you’re going to do something, do it well and I booked myself a five day Juice Detox Programme. It was simple, no messy hard work or working out what I needed to buy and drink in what order. It just turns up at my door the night before.

 It was one of the best things I have done in a long while. I lost weight which is a bonus but more importantly I had lots of energy, my skin was clear and I woke up on day 4 ready to take on the world.  I was on a real juice high.

Fast-forward a few months and I have stuck to some of the 'lifestyle' changes. Santa gave me a new juicer (the old one died) and I still love boot camp (just maybe more in summer).

 So if you have found yourself a week and a half into 2013 and nothing is different from last year it won’t change by itself.  If you want change in any area of your life, just do it and don't wait to go on the TV and air your low points to the world.

If you want to lose weight then exercise; it’s free to hit the road and run. If you need a new image then hit the shops or charity shops - something new (to you) is new! Who cares about the price. Need to give up smoking then just stop (I did cold turkey many years ago and it can be done). Got to the library - I'm sure there is a book to help with whatever excuse you’re giving yourself for not changing something for the better.  If you’re not happy there is no person nor amount of money that will change that. You have to decide to change your thinking - the grass is not greener on the other side.

If you want a New Year and a New You then drop all the excuses and say (just like an over produced L'Oreal ad), “I'M WORTH IT”.

We have one life, let’s live it and not just survive.

You get the job... now it’s real.

Are you ready to leave your babies?

My lovely friend Sarah is a Production Manager and with a lot of encouragement she applied for what I thought would be her dream role.  Full-time, close to home and in the same genre and role she did pre-kids. She ticked all the boxes for the role and she really is passionate about the subject, it was made for her (in my eyes).

But right from the start she questioned, did she want to do a full time job? In an industry where these roles a rare I thought it was a no brainer.  What I didn't know where her real fears about leaving her kids with another person.

Sarah was offered a second interview and she phoned asking "am I doing the right thing? I don't want to go for the interview if I don't want the job, how will it work with the kids?".  I thought it was just all those normal fears and questions that get raised when a mum leaves the nest on a more permanent base, but this is not my story.

She was offered the job and given a start date.  And then that is when it became very very real for her 'can I do this'?

 3 weeks later I got this email.

 "I have decided not to take the full time job! Just couldn't bring myself to leave the kids day in day out and have someone else look after them on a full time basis.

I wouldn't feel happy about leaving my boys all day with someone I didn't know. I wouldn't be able to do a good job as I would be worrying too much about them. 

I lost my brother at the age of 21 (I was 19). We were very close. So I am a little more paranoid  than others about the safety of my loved ones. So I have a real issue with someone else driving my kids around. 

We live one mile from a main road so driving is an integral part of my daily life.  As I was interviewing various potential au pairs I had this sinking feeling " what if" something happened to them.

Most of the girls I interviewed for the role had never driven in this country and I felt it was asking for trouble.  I'd already freaked myself out about it prior to that. I also thought that if I was honest with the employer, he may offer me ad hoc freelance work which is exactly what happened. So I'm chuffed to bits about that.

Have to mention though the copious amounts of sleepless nights and analysing with various girlfriends ……. Did my head in after a while! "

I'm thankful Sarah has let me share this journey with you, as I'm sure we all have our very own and real fears, that only we can can work out what is right for us.

The other woman aka the nanny

Once you have decided to go back to work what do you do?  Return to what you did, try something new or take anything you can get?  

My little body guard

I'm sure its a combination of all the above but no matter what you decided there is one thing a mother must do before she can change her status from stay-at-home-mum to working professional. Entrust her beloved children to the other woman (or man), aka the nanny.
  
It might be a live in au pair, child-minder, nanny or even granny, but unless someone else looks after your little treasures you're not going to get very far from the home.  With no family in the UK and only one kid in school my husband and I decided a full time live in au pair was our only option.
 
Now it's one thing to say that you're ready to go back to work and trust the kids to another woman's care but the reality is very strange.  You are basically looking for a lady to move into your home, look after the kids, cook for them, help with school work, play with them, make them laugh and well, do all the things mummy does and then pay her for it.
 

Japanese lunch in Soho

Now there are some adjustments in head space and lifestyle that come with the other woman in your home and a lot come as a pleasant surprise.  It's the before kids freedom that I have gained, the last minute mid-week dinners out in London, if I'm running late it's ok, there is always milk and bread in the house and I get the best of both worlds, freedom and family.

And after all I'll always be mummy.