My lovely friend Sarah is a Production Manager and with a lot of encouragement she applied for what I thought would be her dream role. Full-time, close to home and in the same genre and role she did pre-kids. She ticked all the boxes for the role and she really is passionate about the subject, it was made for her (in my eyes).
But right from the start she questioned, did she want to do a full time job? In an industry where these roles a rare I thought it was a no brainer. What I didn't know where her real fears about leaving her kids with another person.
Sarah was offered a second interview and she phoned asking "am I doing the right thing? I don't want to go for the interview if I don't want the job, how will it work with the kids?". I thought it was just all those normal fears and questions that get raised when a mum leaves the nest on a more permanent base, but this is not my story.
She was offered the job and given a start date. And then that is when it became very very real for her 'can I do this'?
3 weeks later I got this email.
"I have decided not to take the full time job! Just couldn't bring myself to leave the kids day in day out and have someone else look after them on a full time basis.
I wouldn't feel happy about leaving my boys all day with someone I didn't know. I wouldn't be able to do a good job as I would be worrying too much about them.
I lost my brother at the age of 21 (I was 19). We were very close. So I am a little more paranoid than others about the safety of my loved ones. So I have a real issue with someone else driving my kids around.
We live one mile from a main road so driving is an integral part of my daily life. As I was interviewing various potential au pairs I had this sinking feeling " what if" something happened to them.
Most of the girls I interviewed for the role had never driven in this country and I felt it was asking for trouble. I'd already freaked myself out about it prior to that. I also thought that if I was honest with the employer, he may offer me ad hoc freelance work which is exactly what happened. So I'm chuffed to bits about that.
Have to mention though the copious amounts of sleepless nights and analysing with various girlfriends ……. Did my head in after a while! "