Monday, 16 April 2012

What do you do?

I remember it being the first question people asked you when you went out... 'what do you do'.
What you did for a job was your status in life & how people summed you up.

Now I had a great title and even better pay for most of my working life so it never much bother me that question until I moved to the UK. I went from being well known and working on amazing jobs to finding it really really hard to get work.   So when people ask 'where do you work' after the ‘what do you do’ I found I was lost, embarrassed, I was nobody.

Somewhere some how I had got wrapped up in being the job title I was doing and not just me. In a result of feeling useless & being nobody I got depression, living in a dark basement flat in winter was not helping. My husband did not know what he would find when he walked in the door. Crazy me, ok me or me in bed. Long story short things changed. That was 11 years ago. So why bring it up now.

Having no job title and being labeled a stay at home mum was something I wanted something I knew I would become once we had kids. At 34 I was having a baby so in my mind my working days where over. No work, no more tube, work politics & egos to deal with I will look after my angels have lunch with friends and go to the gym.

 I think when you are wanting to start a family you are so into babies and a new life you don't look forward to see what life will be like once your baby is growing or grown.

Not working means I don't have an income so my long lunch and shopping days are not a reality. I don't often talk with adults that don't have kids unless it’s the post man, I don't travel on public transport so no book reading on the tube, I don't like shopping it’s no fun with kids, I don't wear heels, I don't wear the clothing I used to. No unplanned lunches dates at nice restaurants and no last minute drinks before heading home.

I never missed it before, but I do now.

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